Hi everyone and welcome to my blog! It’s Madison here with my first official blog post. Woo!!!
To kick things off, I’ve decided to start a 6 month journey to myself. Why, you might ask? Simply because I feel like I’ve lost myself in the past year or so. I haven’t been going after my dreams like I used to. I’ve become almost afraid. Afraid to make people angry. Afraid to make people uncomfortable. Afraid that people will make fun of me or tell me that I’m not important. And I understand why.
The last time I feel like I really shared myself was back in February 2019 when I wrote a post on Instagram explaining why I didn’t feel like my Peace Corps service was reflecting my goals, my community’s goals, or even the goals of the Peace Corps. Once our country director saw that post, she promptly called me to her office and told me that if I ever shared my views like that again, I would be “administratively separated” on the spot. That scared me. What I wrote was completely misunderstood by her and the organization, but it scared me to the point where I shut myself off. I didn’t let my true self shine through for the entire 2nd year of my service because of that encounter. I stopped working as hard because I lost all hope that I could do something that my community really wanted, that I really wanted, and that Peace Corps would support. My fear of losing my job was so great, that I lost myself in trying to be some perfect Peace Corps volunteer. Thinking about that now, I know exactly why I shut down. It was a way to preserve my job, to stay in Cameroon. But I sacrificed myself in the process.
This is a quest, a 180 day journey to find myself again. To wander into the depths of myself and find the fire that I had before.
I will focus on 10 areas of my life and have 3 action steps for each area.
- Health: To be strong, energetic and vibrant in my body.
- Exercise / Movement every day
- Intuitive eating
- Master the Ashtanga Primary Series
- Marriage: To have a passionate, loving, fun and INTENTIONAL relationship with my husband
- Go on a date once a week
- Give more gifts
- Listen more
- Relationships: To have relationships that uplift me and make me feel good.
- Call a friend once a month
- Plan a friend date once a week
- Have dinner with family once a week
- Personal: To be confident, happy and comfortable in my own skin.
- Blogging every day
- Wear clothes that make me feel good
- Spirit: To develop a deeper sense of self and connectedness to the Divine.
- Meditate 20 minutes / day
- Pray / Set Intentions
- Practice Gratitude
- Money: To have abundance and flow.
- Be thankful for the joy that money brings me
- Learn about investing
- Create / Stick to a budget
- Career: To have a job that allows me to express myself through my work and gives me energy and abundance.
- Do my best every day
- Learn about my business
- Seek opportunities and fun
- Fun: To always have time for FUN and PLAY
- Plan vacations
- Learn to play the guitar
- Contribution: To always have enough to give freely
- Give as a way of saying thanks and bringing joy
- Physical Environment: To have an environment of warmth, creativity and life.
- Create vision boards
- Clean every day
- Start a garden
I’m starting this journey today and I’ll be keeping you all updated as I go. My hope is that by the end of this, I will have more confidence in myself and that I won’t be so afraid to share myself with the world.